Glass Door..

I am standing on the floor. The coldness of the surface is making me want to keep moving my feet to the tune to which my mind is moving....

The mind is working two ways...There is something else calling for my attention. I am facing a beautiful view. Right in front of me is standing the angel. Pretty as a star. Jumping and dancing around. Carefree and innocent. It seems as if it is calling out to me. 

Waiting for me to absorb the goodness that it exudes. My instant reaction is wanting to go out there and bask in its light. It feels as if this is the light I was waiting for. With this enlightened though, I move a little more closer to who I am. I lifted my feet to walk towards my soul. The very next instant the thoughts came chasing my feet. 

I looked towards the angel. Am I staring the truth or is it that my fears have blurred my vision. How can i know what it is going to bring in my life. Was it just a facade created by my mind or am I just clouding my instincts with my fear. 

There was a sudden disconnect as if there was a glass door in between stopping me from walking ahead. There was a fear of getting less that what I wanted, a fear of not being cheated but of cheating myself. A fear of hurting self. My projection of joy was tainted with clouds of my fear. Or was it my inner self talking to me... 

My fear as well as my expectation were both my mind child. It was a fight within my mind. How do you fight your own self. Was it worth fighting for was the question. I was not ready to decide. Who shall decide? I was not ready to bow down and go away. I dont wish to just walk away with this mystery unraveled.

If I decide to walk ahead, will I be able to be ready to bear the weight of this decision. If the angel turns out to be the light I thought it would be..it shall become the most liberating stage of my life. I would be living my purpose. I can finally fly with my wings stretched so wide. I can almost feel the cold wind in my face. The air of liberation.

But the air is blocked with my fears.

The fight continues. With great reluctance I started to walk but the thought that the glass door might still be standing makes me anxious. How do you become your own guide. How do you try not to weave a trap of your own fears..