Mountain life

It seems to be god's agenda to lay down constant reminders of our insignificance.

Climbing a mountain is not about conquering the peak. Successfully climbing a mountain does not add any value to your  being or existence. It is not a competition to prove our mettle. Or to put it simply there cannot be any competition because no matter how hard you try you cannot compete with the majestic pile of rocks and soil which has stood the test of time. These mountains have been a spectator to the beautiful journey of life, death and the survival in between. They have endured since the beginning of time to qualify as a symbol of patience and grace. It is not a competition but it is an attempt to struggle to co-exist with the mountains with grace.

The thrill of climbing a mountain does not come from winning.  It comes from being able to survive and to co-exist. 

The other side of the storm

I am standing at the door armed with nothing,
I peek on the other side of the door,
The sky looks cloudy blue with specks of orange,

attesting the presence of good times somewhere...

The swiftly moving clouds, reminds me of the pace at which the life awaits me.

I cannot understand how I feel,
A plethora of emotions are revolving around my soul,
Each emotion trying to play its unique colour on my canvas,
These emotions are not new to me,
But the gravity with which they are pulling my soul is new...

I feel pushed and hushed,
I feel cornered and stuck,
I see no way out but through it,
I am still standing in safety on this side of the storm.

As I ready myself to go through the ordeal,
I wonder if the destination awaiting me on the other side of the storm is worth so much,

I wonder what all will I loose by the time I get to the other side,
I wonder what will remain of me and my soul,
I wonder if the new me on the other side is the destination my soul awaits...

The final steps

As I am nearing the finish line, the by lanes I left behind are seeming more inviting. I am afraid to step into the unknown. The journey hereon may be the shortest but the most hardest.  

I started this journey picturing the finish line as my goal. As the goal has come closer I am starting to question my destination. I see the line ahead and I see the flag hoisted between the stones indicating the end of the journey. I look upwards to the fluttering flag in the background of blue skies. I wonder if it signifies my destination..

Will we survive this?

It may seem small...and it may seem irrelevant. But it is the most important question daunting us- Will we survive this?

I started onto this journey with absolutely no clue as to where my destination lies. I never questioned the destination nor the journey. Now that I contemplate the past, I wonder why…

Not being the kind of person who would allow just about any irrelevant question to occupy my time, this does seem like an exception to the rule book. However without this exception, I do not think I would have even dared to venture on this path in my senses!

I did not quite know what I had signed up for. Now though I feel my timely ignorance was a blessing in disguise. Had I started to question and understand the question itself, I would never have been able to start my journey to explore the answer.

I was surprised to find that a simple question could put me in such a juxtaposition. Not because I did not know the answer but because I thought I knew the Answer.. rather I knew what is not the answer...

Then came the other and the only option left. Acceptance of the option left was a far more important question. 

The denial was feeding on my fears, my anxieties and my insecurities. I knew the answers. But the thought lingered-  how could I know when the world claims that no one knows, How could I know any better than the rest of the world. This kept me on my feet. The logics defied my answers. I wanted to be sure but there was practically no way out. Without any backing, the answer seemed to be not correct. Not as yet... 

Even though I wanted to, I could not stick to what I knew to be true. There was chaos. I felt cornered. I felt torned in two halves...both of which belonged to me. It caused pain and mistrust.

I chose to lie low. I decided to take a road which might shed some light on the answers I seek. As time plays its role, I am hoping that this other path too shall bring me to the answers I seek but with a stronger sense of faith and certainty. I hope to arrive where I started. My starting point has become my destination. The crux of the matter was not about reaching a decision...the journey was about justifying the decision.

Now that I know where my finishing line lies, I wonder whether we will survive this...

"Forever" is an illusion!

“Life” I wonder if we have really understood Life. May be we will never be able to figure it out.

Impermanence.. Life passes away while we try to run away from this word. We choose to live life on our own assumptions. Then somewhere down the line we start acknowledging the fact that probably there some things in life which are not permanent. A part of our life is spent dwelling over this thought... And then sometimes we sulk over it. But the early assumption of permanency is so deeply imbibed in our thoughts, that we cannot comprehend the truth. Then someday life gives an unexpected blow and we are face to face with this ugly truth. While we are enjoying gazing at the beauty of the flower, there comes a time for it to wither away. Both the flower and the tree need to accept this law of nature. Any friction in accepting the truth leads to heartbreak and disappointment.

All our life we are running after just one thing and that is permanence. We want a steady life. We crave for a routine. No matter how adventurous you think you are, you want a permanent residence to go back to every night. Nobody wants to live in a car. Nobody wants a life where you do not know where you are going to spend your nights every day. You want to figure out a permanent work profile for yourself. You want a steady income. Nobody wants a job where they do not know how much they will earn at the end of the month. You are always looking for a soulmate whom you expect to be your partner forever. You expect your marriage to last forever. You expect your knowledge to stay forever. You have organised things around you in such a way that things have found a permanent order in your life. From your morning toothbrush to your night creams, everything has a permanent place in your house and in your life. Any change in their order gives rise to irritation, disappointment, frustration and anger. Most of the anguish, sorrow, despair, disappointment, problems, disputes and quarrels arise when your expectations for things to last forever face the realities of life.  

Permanence is what you may crave but impermanence is what makes your life beautiful. It adds a shade of depth to a rather pale life. It is when you have sorrow that you appreciate happiness. It is when you experience heart breaks that you value relationships. It is when you are faced with failure that you realise the worth of success. It is when you have not so permanent life that you appreciate the existence of your life.

Nothing in life is permanent. Acceptance of this truth is the purpose of our lives..

A need, a hope, a wish, a dream.. and happiness :)

My idea of a fulfilling life is a lookback which brings a smile to my face.

So happiness it is. Happiness quotient shall determine whether I have lived my purpose..

And now what determines happiness? Fulfilment of my needs, wants, wishes or dreams?

It starts with a wish.. a want or may be a need. Survival necessitates a few mandatory things.. those are your needs. I have needs without which survival seems to be a task. There are times when your wants and their fulfilment are in doubt. At such juncture your wants, wishes and dreams take a back seat. Fighting the odds of life requires you to be courageous. Bravery on the other hand will add to the thrill quotient in your life. Infact fulfilment of your wants itself qualifies for an achievement giving rise to contentment and fulfilment. So basically the goal of happiness is achieved. You see many beggars living off the street off the streets. Their basic necessities of life are most often compromised. However with courage they ready themselves to live their lives with whatsoever they have on hand. This act of being able to fend off the harsh realities of lives gives them an opportunity to be happy. And this somewhere reflects the irony of life. The beauty of a positive emotion is enhanced when it is derived from negative circumstances.

Also, we are wired in a way that we consciously or sub consciously believe that we exists for a purpose. Each one of us believes that we are better than the rest and that somewhere we are meant to save the world. Any action which makes us change or alter any realty or fact according to our wants gives us a sense of happiness and achievement. As long as you are enacting your purpose, it is going to give rise to the same feeling. But then that purpose might be to fulfil your needs, wishes or may be your dreams. It is all the same in the end. We may take different paths but our destination remains the same. The only difference being that for some, the wants are already fullfilled so we attach our happiness to wishes. For some who have been able to fulfil their wishes, attach their happiness to their dreams. It is a question of correlation. Needs, wants, wishes and dreams are not absolute. What might be my needs may be somebody else's wish and may be some ones dream.

Your happiness is undeniably linked with this correlation. This shows that everyone has needs, wants, wishes and dreams- some fulfilled and some unfulfilled. But Happiness is not an outcome, rather it’s a choice. It is matter to choice as to whether or not you link your happiness with your needs, wants, wishes or dreams.

So choose your Happiness and choose to live :)

Spring Times!

The dark night was closing in. The pitch dark clouds kept the moonlight away. Life was taking turns while we tried to steer clear of the skids along the path. As our vehicle tried to find its path along the edges of the valley, we readied our minds for the adventure that awaited us. It was a small trip to ready ourselves for a travel of a lifetime. We closed our eyes to embrace the fantasies of our dreams. The dreams cushioned the insecurities and the doubts of our minds.

I woke up as the car took a steep turn. I peeked outside to know where we were. A breath taking view awaited me.  It looked as if we had closed in to the drive way to the heaven. It looked like huge blocks of stones were arranged far off on the green mountains. The edges of the stones were blending in the clouds around. The top edges were almost invisible.

As we readied ourselves to climb the big breath taking ascend, the sun rays kept shedding its light to reveal the majestic splendour.

The climb started with a walk through the fields and rocky mountains. The pink wild flowers bloomed on the way in anticipation of the visitors. Little streams of cold water kept wetting my feet. As we turned every curve of every mountain around, a new view awaited us at each step. I happily absorbed all the views that lay in front of me. The beauty and magnificence of nature stunned me. The early risers kept humming sweet nothings which blended with the whirls and whoosh of the winds.

As we hiked and climbed, trickles of sweat and poundings of the heart made melodious companions. The occasional blue canisters of water echoed the beauty around. The cold water could vanish the wanderer’s fatigue. It could intoxicate my already increasing thirst to travel.

The walk did not feel long, it felt worthy. We walked through the green grasses and the blooming flowers. Each step we walked signified the good times.

Eventually the concluding steps arrived. The final few steps were laden with uncertainty and self doubt. The mind went back and forth while my feet tried to take a step forward. No matter how long the trail, the severity of the destination is realised when it is this close. Though the fight in my mind continued, I decided to take my soul a level up :)

The soreness of a climb was what my heart was craving for. What started off as a trip was moving on to become a starting point of the travel diaries of my life! A befitting start to a good life..

The evolution

Living might be overwhelming but evolving isn't. We get so busy in our lives trying to live through the day that most of the time evolution is a silent phenomenon. 

While I learn to face failures and disappointments, I am evolving.

While I gear myself for success and fame I am evolving.

While I learn to nurture my broken heart I am evolving.

While I learn to smile through my tears I am evolving.

Evolving is as good as breathing. It shall last as long as you last.

The last few steps

I had kept awake all night. I was wondering as to what awaits me. There was excitement and eagerness step into the adventure ride. At the same time I was anxious and afraid, my jittery nerves kept reminding me of my fears of the unknown. I did not know what I was stepping into. I did not know how good or bad it was going to be. But something told me to keep moving, and that it will get better. It felt that the door to soul liberation was through insecurity and doubts.  

As I reached the base, I could see my destination. It was clouded but it felt like worth trying. I could not see the whole picture, but I somewhere knew that it is definitely a part of my jig-saw life. As if it was meant to be.

As my fears shadowed my intuitions, my soul whispered what could possibly go wrong. It was worth getting your heart broken over this then not trying at all. I was ready to take on the challenge to discover my soul. And then the sun broke its silence, shedding its serene light on my path ahead. The path lit up, and so did my soul. I was ready to venture into the unknown. As I started walking through the bushes, I glanced back. And I knew that no matter where I venture to, I can always come back to my beautiful present.

And off I went walking through the green grass. The sharp wet blades brushing my feet. The stream of cold water was washing down the trail. From the muddy path to the rocky steps, I walked in patience. There were times when I felt unsure. There were times when I felt so sure. My soul kept on going back and forth. The moments of surety were followed with the insecurity of how I will be able to make it. The moments of insecurity were followed by motivation from soul of the nature.

I kept on mumbling- What could possibly go wrong as I walked ahead…

Now I was nearing the end of the journey. The top seems close and near. Still the insecurity and the courage kept taking turns in my head and heart. There are a last few steps to go. Now as I asked myself the question - What could possibly go wrong?, my soul feels the heaviness in the air. I am afraid to hear the possibilities. The journey till here has cleansed my soul. The whiff in the air has awaken my spirit. I am afraid that the destination which awaits me was never a choice. It was always my destiny.

Road less travelled

I wish life was a little more easier. Sometimes you know you are walking on a dangerous edge…with a steep valley along its edges. One wrong step and you lose yourself forever. You always have the option to step aside and choose to follow the trail more travelled. But you still choose to fight your inhibitions and let your soul converse with nature…with the hope that at the end of the path you shall find your peak. With the hope that there exists a moment awaiting your presence in future, that very exact moment when you will tell your soul- Thank you for making that choice.

From nothing to everything..

The day when I felt everything,… It does happen rarely but when it does it feels as if somebody has blown life in my body. Suddenly something has liven up every atom in my body. After living by all my life suddenly I feel alive. It is like a beautiful hurricane ripping your soul apart. It is as if it is raining on a parched land. Every grain of sand is thirsty for a drop of water. And now suddenly there is a heavy shower of rain. It did not start with a drizzle. Rather it did not start at all. There was just heavy rains.. with no beginning or end in sight. No matter have much water flows on, it gets soaked up. The plethora of emotion attacks my body, mind and soul. You suddenly feel every emotion.

Till now I was busy - busy living, busy being distracted, busy filling up my schedule with irrelevant chores and unimportant tasks. But suddenly out of nowhere these emotions were gripping me. I could feel everything. I was suddenly an empath. I was feeling the joy of living, the joy of breathing, the joy of being alive.

At the same time, I was feeling the sadness of separation, the giddiness of future, the disappointments of my failures, the anxiety of tomorrow and the contentment of my yesterdays. I could feel every feeling touching my body, entering my soul and moving a part of me. It feels as if my soul is a mystic universe forever revolving, forever changing. As each emotion enters me it throws a part of me in the dark black hole from where it shall never come back. It is like a falling star. All this time, it adorned my universe and it shone on my walls. Now that it has fallen, it will never shine again. It is no more a star, just a memory. As I let every emotion alter the make up of my soul, I wonder what will be left behind. May be someday what will remain of me is ‘nothing’.. 

Foggy Trail

I stand there alone waiting for the fog to disperse,

I am carrying my fog lights to cut through the stark white cloud,

No matter how harsh the light,

The fog refuses to go away..

The white fog separates me from my path ahead,

I stand there with all my patience,

Trying to overcome my anxiety and my fears,

Anxiety of the step ahead and fear of trail behind.

While I wait for the fog to clear the path,

I turn around to look how far I have come along,

It baffles me to see what is left behind me,

The luscious green peace and the divine beauty.

I sit down for a while on the green grass,

Trying to absorb the view around,

As the time passes by I am afraid..

Afraid that the view shall pass away too

As the battle picks up in my mind,

To walk ahead or to stay behind,

My heart chooses to stay put,

To remain where I was.

I choose to rest some more,

I choose to gaze some more,

I will let my soul grow a little more,

I will pick my path when I am ready.

 

Q & A

"Life is complicated;

  By the time you find answers to the questions,

  Life changes its questions!"

Nothing in life is permanent- not the people, not the stars and definitely not the questions.

Life posed a question before me. I chose to ponder over it. I chose to analyse my answer before giving one. I chose to take my time to contemplate. I thought that would help me become ready.

I always thought it was for me to choose. And that the question shall always remain…waiting for my answer. All I had to do was answer the question... and make the choice. I could wait till the time I was ready to take the plunge. And this is how I assumed my life will go on.

But I was wrong. By the time I could gather the courage to make my choice the question posed had changed! The dynamics.of.the question had changed. It had become conditional. It was no more just my choice. It was now life’s turn to choose.

Everything in life is subject to changes. So are the questions and challenges posed in front of us. The questions shall not wait for your answers. They were never destined to wait. They are meant to challenge you and move on. You either grab the opportunity or be ready to wait till it chooses again to challenge you.

A Walk to Remember

"As I start climbing the first steps, I gaze at the magnificent walls of the hill. Its majestic appearance seems to downsize my soul. My soul aches to level up. It calls for the invite from the soul of the hill. My feet walk towards the trail to meet my host.

I walk through the broken steps and the rocky trail. Each step takes me closer to my destination. The more I move away from the starting point, more beautiful it gets. I leave behind the good, the bad and the ugly truths of life to discover my soul. There is a thin trail of water flowing through the stones. As if trying to cleanse my soul of the weights I carried- the weight of the past, present and the expectations of tomorrow; the weight of who I was and who I was supposed to be.

I was breathing in the fresh air of hopes and dreams and exhaling the air of judgements and expectations. The fresh air was filling my soul with fresh thoughts. The higher I went, the lighter I felt. I was leaving behind the trails of my old self.

By the time I reached the peak, I could feel the new me. All that was left of me was my soul..sans the façade. I walked through the clouds as my soul mingled with the sky and the hills. Finally it had reached home.."

Its a choice after all..

Every moment in your life is a byproduct of your choices. Coincidence, luck, destiny are nothing but a cluster of your choices. Except for your birth and your death, everything else is your choice. However if few studies are to be believed, souls do choose their births and death as well!

I am where I am today, because of my choices- the good, the bad, and the ugly. My choices might not have been the most sane in the situation, but I choose not to disown them. They were mine and I shall stand by them.

My life is nothing but my choices and so is love. You choose to love. You make this choice every single day in spite of whatever the circumstances. You choose to love your partner's quirks and their arrogance. You choose to be their light in times they are ignorant. You choose to walk by their side no matter how dark it gets. You choose to wait in the tunnel of darkness hoping for the light to shine through. You choose to loose your sleep over their nightmares even though you are tired as hell. You choose to hold their hands even when your own soul cries for some lone time. You choose to wait for them while they sort out their inner demons. You choose to be their peace when life poses questions to which there are no correct answers. 

You choose to take this journey from 'now' to 'forever'...its a choice after all

I wish for a little less..

As I stand on the edge of the hill, the winds blowing sweet nothings in my face. I can smell the salty winds. I look towards the horizon, in search. I can’t remember what I am looking for. But I know that I can’t find it. The feeling of uneasiness is gripping my heart. I try to breathe and try to calm myself. It pains as I breathe. It pains as I live.

It seems I am stuck in time. I wish the pain didn’t exist. I wish I couldn’t feel. I wish I didn’t have a heart. As I write this down today I wish this feeling leaves the dark world of my soul forever..

How I Wish!

How I Wish!

As my thoughts flow from my soul onto this paper, I wish it takes away with it all my apprehensions and my worries.

I wish I could just do away with all these lint of worries trying to engulf my soul. I wish I could somehow just learn to live in my cocoon of present sans my angst. How I wish!

I wish I could just open the bottle of my soul to fill it to the brim with the scent of my today. I wish I could gather the courage to unleash my wishes. How I Wish!

I am fine...but I am afraid

Unexplained goodbyes

That Feeling! The need of closure. The urge to start afresh…

I see a strong jute rope. My hands trace the built of the rope. There is a knot in the middle of the rope.  It does not feel right. As if the knot is not meant to be there. It somehow feels misplaced. It leaves me feeling uneasy. I try to look for the rope's ends to open it. But I cannot find them. There are no ends! My heart starts panicking. It feels as if I am running out of time. I try harder with all my focus on finding the ends, but still can’t find them. This is exactly that feeling! It feels like a knot in the middle of nowhere. This is how it feels to not have closure. It feels like I will have to live with this feeling forever until the end of time.

As you try to start reading the next chapter of the novel, the missing end of the last chapter keeps you occupied. The possible endings of the last chapter keep clouding your trail into the next chapter. With the unsaid endings you leave a part of your dreams, hopes, and your soul tucked away in the rusted pages of the last chapter.

"As I try to move ahead,

It grapples me with all it has,

The harder I try,

The more stronger it grows,

No matter how hard I try,

I cant shake it off,

It pulls me down,

It shoves me in.

I struggle to breathe

I struggle to love!"

I am..

                                             I bask in the warmth of the daylight,
                                             But I am not the sun. 

                                             I play in the cold stares of the night,
                                             But I am not the moon.

                                             I am not what you want me to be,

                                             I can never be what you wish me to be,

                                             I am my own person,
                                             I am what I wish to be..

It was never meant to be perfect..

Roses are one of the most beautiful flowers. If I were to hand you a bouquet of flowers, would you be able to pick the most beautiful rose in the lot? (assuming that they are all equally fresh?). the answer is mostly 'No'. You just pick one of lot which looks beautiful to you, the one which looks right to you.

Even if you choose one, you would not be able to substantiate as to why you did not pick the rest. Sometimes it is just difficult. 

The beauty lies in living this imperfect life...

This is a close resemblance to our lives. We are constantly in search of the perfect life. We find our lives difficult because we try to find the perfect solutions to the imperfect questions, perfect reactions to imperfect situations, perfect life for the imperfect destinies. 

If it were meant to be perfect, it would already be perfect...right from the beginning. May be the lone purpose of this life is to learn acceptance - Acceptance of this universe, its imperfections, its flaws and its shortcomings; Acceptance of your soul's imperfections.

The earlier we accept our truth, the easier our journey would be..

Why I dont have goals

Goals

I hate that word. It signifies a compulsion, a self imposed one may be but a compulsion for sure. When i am left alone on a football field i dont kick the ball into the goal post. There might be many who find it enticing to score a goal. Not me..      

I do not have goals. I have dreams. I have wishes. And all of them are beyond this world. My dreams are not restricted to my job, my salary, my versace and guccis. My dreams are surreal. I do not wish to give  importance to just this physical world. Because there is far too much than what meets the eye.     

I hate to zero down on goals. For me each day, each emotion, each relationship is a goal post.

I wish to challenge the ignorance that lies within us. I wish to challenge the ignorance of my soul. I dream to know more than I  know today, accept more than I did yesterday. I dream of allowing myself to experience and live each and every emotion that i am capable of. It is very easy to witness yourself go green with envy and still not be aware of your feelings. I wish to lower my guard down to witness the       vulnerability and the insecurity. I dream of being able to know and witness how I feel. Being aware of how I feel is a soul cleansing process which forces me to see how human I am.  Its my dream to be able to look at me objectively. I dream to push the boundaries that I, my family, the society have knowingly or unknowingly imposed on me.

Open your eyes to the wonderful universe!

“Love thyself

Love thy Life”

Most necessarily in that order! Love yourself. Look around and enjoy the quirks of nature.

For once do not get up to the noise of an alarm clock. Let the sun shine bright till the red insides of your eyes force you to wake up to the warm new day.

Breathe in the serene mornings with all your senses. Feel the cool air brush through your hideous manes. Don’t worry about how puffy your face is going to look. Again close your eyes and try to unearth your sweet sleep in the knowing that a beautiful world awaits you thereafter. Open your eyes when your soul is ready and excited to begin its day. Look around for the beautiful white clouds strutting their different shapes and sizes on the stunning blue canvas while the wind tries to blow them off :)

Everything’s moving as if there is no time or space binding them. Imagine the same for yourself too. There is no need to rush. No need to hurry. You have all the time in the world to sit and stare.

As you watch the sun moves up the light blue canvas. The trees go swish and swash to the tunes of the wind. You also see them eagerly waiting for the wind when there is none. The birds keeping chirping busy in their lives, enjoying and celebrating the dawn.

As the day goes by, the roads are melting in the sultry heat while they ferry all the willing to their destinations. Everyone is busy trying fulfilling their destinies.

As the sun goes down, the stage is set for a new play. The new scene calls for new characters- the moon, the stars, the owls. The stage is set for the clouds and the moon. The background of the stage turns pink from blue as if blushing to the arrival of the moon. Watch the birds head home as if to leave the moon to romance the night alone. The stars come out looking to take a peek at the romantic night. It makes for a spectacular view. The coolness of the night makes up for the energy lost in the day.                                                               

The night is set to take you a little closer to your dreams while you ready yourself for a new dawn.

Close your eyes, breathe out your thoughts. Make some space for new ones. Discover your universe.

No roads are wrong...sometimes there are more bends on some roads!

"One of the most hardest decisions you will ever face is to whether to walk away or try harder"

 Take decisions which make you happy. Rather than weighing the rightness of your decision, weigh your happiness. Whether your decision will turn out to be right or wrong is always dependent on your tomorrows, not your todays. And nothing is promised as far as tomorrow is concerned. It may never come!

That is how trivial our life is in view of time. So why base our decisions on what might happen tomorrow. Any decision is worth taking if that is what makes you happy today. In retrospect your life is going to be a blot of happy spots. So contribute to your happiness. Choose your happiness factors. Allow them to grow in light of your dreams. Do not deter their growth with your doubts about the future.

If some thing makes you sunny happy, go ahead and do it. When you know it matters to you, you are going to try to make it work. And when you sincerely work towards your cause, something good will come out of it. Irrespective of whether it turns out to be what you intended, it is going to be worth the shot. Atleast you will live your purpose rather than living the so called ‘correct life’ defined by the society.

It is your life. Dare to live it on your own terms. Terms which make you happy should dictate your life. Be not afraid to take decisions. These decisions are the defining factors of your life, your happiness.

 

Breathe In..Breathe Out

"What Lies behind us &

  What Lies Ahead of us

  Is far more pale in comparison to our TODAY!"

Life is simple and easy. We have complicated the matters so much that things have got out of hand. And then we conclude that we were ecologically speaking destined to doom!

I like taking long walks on my own. It gives me a sense of grip on my life. We are so much surrounded by chaos that you need some quite time to clear the shit out of your mind. But I cannot remember when was the last time that I have truly been “in the moment” on any of those walks. I don’t remember enjoying the picturesque around. We are just too busy to do the obvious…

This is the story of everyone’s life. We don’t bother to see how beautiful this world really is. The passing busses, crowded trains, colourful clothes clad eunuchs, honking traffic, beggars, are as beautiful and stunning as the clouds moving across the blue sky, cold air blowing in your face, the rustling of the leaves due to wind, small hurricane like storms forming of the garbage and dust around. Everything is beautiful.

Our days are filled with either thoughts of our past or dreams and hopes for our future. So there is no space left for our present in our lives!

If living in your present is the obvious how did we adapt a different road? The answer lies in our past..our childhood. Remember the times when we fell down while running around playing hide and seek or blind man’s game? We used to cry like there will be no tomorrow! Our parents especially mothers used to distract us by making up some story about your friend or reminding you of the amazing circus you went to last week or making promises to take you out to your favourite ice cream parlour if you stopped crying. And how it worked! We did not stop crying because we were being offered a lucrative bribe. We stopped crying because it eased your pain. Or to rather put it simply, it distracted you from your pain. When in pain think about your glorious future or your beautiful moments of past! We have all been brought up wrongly. We grew up with the easier but in the long run more painful beliefs. This is what we do even today.

We have gone to adapt this mechanism so well that it does not seem flawed at all. Rather it has become our second nature though not natural. This system of ignoring your pain or distracting yourself from the ugly reality till the time you don’t feel any pain or hurt is how this defense mechanism works.

When we are hurting, we spent a few hours or some times a few days grieving. Then our mind readies itself to get out of the grieving process i.e. to move on. We do that by either going over the past memories again and again or by trying to see ourselves in an exponentially happy future.

In this wrestle between the past and the future we forget to live in our present.

The idea here is to remind people to accept and acknowledge your NOW. If you are in pain, allow your soul to feel every rip in your heart. Let it for once tear you apart. Feel the hurt in each and every ounce of your self. Cry, grieve, but keep on breathing. Shallow breathes, Slow breaths, Deep breaths. Breathe in your anguish and breathe out your disappointments. Let it leave you tattered. But at least it will leave…We make the mistake of treating those painful moments as precious memories. These memories dont make us who we are but they are undoubtedly an underlying cause of who we are. They are not us per se. For the wound to heal it is important that you separate the wound from what is hurting it. You cannot expect your stab wound to heal with the knife in it! As gross it may sound, it is the truth of our lives.

So breathe in your present coz it is beautiful. If your today is beautiful so will be your tomorrow. Accept life..

Perception - See me as I am not as you are..

"What I perceive is my reality

What you perceive is your reality

There is no reality as such

Only perceptions!"

Ever wondered how we see things? We as humans have been endowed with multiple senses. And that is how we complicate things! Whenever an event, story, person, thing, incident presents itself infront of us, we try to go beyond what meets the eye. We try to interpret and analyse the information or situation on hand…and that is how we nail it. Like we say curiosity killed the cat…

Every information presented before us is incomplete or ambiguous in some way most of the time. We try to fill in the gaps in the story. We try to seek to simplify and reason with whatever means we have. This is where the process of perceiving starts.

Perception happens so effortlessly, that most of the time we are not aware of how our perception is making us wrongly interpret information. We ourselves are skewing our perception. Some of the factors which affect our perception are so deeply imbibed in our lives, that we mistake these factors to be a part of who we are. The way we see this world shall weave our reality. And who wants to live a false reality!

Our past experiences, our beliefs about religion, morals, values affect our perception. We see each situation in light of these factors. Since this is an unconscious effort, we do not realise the impact it has on how we interpret things. The flaw lies not in the process of perception but in being aware of the factors influencing our perception. We need to go back to analysing these factors everytime we try to make a decision. We need to make sure that our illogical or irrelevant thoughts do not skew our perception of the situation at hand.

The easier option is to empathise and listen. Listen to the opinion of others. It is nothing but their perception. It does not mean that you become submissive to other’s ideas. It is just another way of seeing the same thing in a different. When you accept other’s perception you are minimizing the chances of errors in your judgement. This is what I would call keeping an open mind.

The key to taking just decisions is to challenge yourself, challenge your fears, your perceptions, and your beliefs. You need not change your beliefs but you need to take a look at the larger picture.