Will we survive this?

It may seem small...and it may seem irrelevant. But it is the most important question daunting us- Will we survive this?

I started onto this journey with absolutely no clue as to where my destination lies. I never questioned the destination nor the journey. Now that I contemplate the past, I wonder why…

Not being the kind of person who would allow just about any irrelevant question to occupy my time, this does seem like an exception to the rule book. However without this exception, I do not think I would have even dared to venture on this path in my senses!

I did not quite know what I had signed up for. Now though I feel my timely ignorance was a blessing in disguise. Had I started to question and understand the question itself, I would never have been able to start my journey to explore the answer.

I was surprised to find that a simple question could put me in such a juxtaposition. Not because I did not know the answer but because I thought I knew the Answer.. rather I knew what is not the answer...

Then came the other and the only option left. Acceptance of the option left was a far more important question. 

The denial was feeding on my fears, my anxieties and my insecurities. I knew the answers. But the thought lingered-  how could I know when the world claims that no one knows, How could I know any better than the rest of the world. This kept me on my feet. The logics defied my answers. I wanted to be sure but there was practically no way out. Without any backing, the answer seemed to be not correct. Not as yet... 

Even though I wanted to, I could not stick to what I knew to be true. There was chaos. I felt cornered. I felt torned in two halves...both of which belonged to me. It caused pain and mistrust.

I chose to lie low. I decided to take a road which might shed some light on the answers I seek. As time plays its role, I am hoping that this other path too shall bring me to the answers I seek but with a stronger sense of faith and certainty. I hope to arrive where I started. My starting point has become my destination. The crux of the matter was not about reaching a decision...the journey was about justifying the decision.

Now that I know where my finishing line lies, I wonder whether we will survive this...