From nothing to everything..

The day when I felt everything,… It does happen rarely but when it does it feels as if somebody has blown life in my body. Suddenly something has liven up every atom in my body. After living by all my life suddenly I feel alive. It is like a beautiful hurricane ripping your soul apart. It is as if it is raining on a parched land. Every grain of sand is thirsty for a drop of water. And now suddenly there is a heavy shower of rain. It did not start with a drizzle. Rather it did not start at all. There was just heavy rains.. with no beginning or end in sight. No matter have much water flows on, it gets soaked up. The plethora of emotion attacks my body, mind and soul. You suddenly feel every emotion.

Till now I was busy - busy living, busy being distracted, busy filling up my schedule with irrelevant chores and unimportant tasks. But suddenly out of nowhere these emotions were gripping me. I could feel everything. I was suddenly an empath. I was feeling the joy of living, the joy of breathing, the joy of being alive.

At the same time, I was feeling the sadness of separation, the giddiness of future, the disappointments of my failures, the anxiety of tomorrow and the contentment of my yesterdays. I could feel every feeling touching my body, entering my soul and moving a part of me. It feels as if my soul is a mystic universe forever revolving, forever changing. As each emotion enters me it throws a part of me in the dark black hole from where it shall never come back. It is like a falling star. All this time, it adorned my universe and it shone on my walls. Now that it has fallen, it will never shine again. It is no more a star, just a memory. As I let every emotion alter the make up of my soul, I wonder what will be left behind. May be someday what will remain of me is ‘nothing’.. 

Foggy Trail

I stand there alone waiting for the fog to disperse,

I am carrying my fog lights to cut through the stark white cloud,

No matter how harsh the light,

The fog refuses to go away..

The white fog separates me from my path ahead,

I stand there with all my patience,

Trying to overcome my anxiety and my fears,

Anxiety of the step ahead and fear of trail behind.

While I wait for the fog to clear the path,

I turn around to look how far I have come along,

It baffles me to see what is left behind me,

The luscious green peace and the divine beauty.

I sit down for a while on the green grass,

Trying to absorb the view around,

As the time passes by I am afraid..

Afraid that the view shall pass away too

As the battle picks up in my mind,

To walk ahead or to stay behind,

My heart chooses to stay put,

To remain where I was.

I choose to rest some more,

I choose to gaze some more,

I will let my soul grow a little more,

I will pick my path when I am ready.

 

Q & A

"Life is complicated;

  By the time you find answers to the questions,

  Life changes its questions!"

Nothing in life is permanent- not the people, not the stars and definitely not the questions.

Life posed a question before me. I chose to ponder over it. I chose to analyse my answer before giving one. I chose to take my time to contemplate. I thought that would help me become ready.

I always thought it was for me to choose. And that the question shall always remain…waiting for my answer. All I had to do was answer the question... and make the choice. I could wait till the time I was ready to take the plunge. And this is how I assumed my life will go on.

But I was wrong. By the time I could gather the courage to make my choice the question posed had changed! The dynamics.of.the question had changed. It had become conditional. It was no more just my choice. It was now life’s turn to choose.

Everything in life is subject to changes. So are the questions and challenges posed in front of us. The questions shall not wait for your answers. They were never destined to wait. They are meant to challenge you and move on. You either grab the opportunity or be ready to wait till it chooses again to challenge you.